Saturday, December 24, 2005
Fair and Balanced Predictions for 2006
* Soymilk will give me bitch tits. My attemps to get emo-thin by going vegan will backfire when all the estrogen from my soy-rich diet causes me to grow some B-cup boobies. On the bright side, my long lonely nights will not seem quite so lonely with my two new friends.
* “Intelligent Design” will become the cornerstone of science curricula across the country. Students will also be required to learn Chinese and Korean, so that when those countries figure out how to use stem cells to cure every disease known to man we can be their bitches and beg for them to save our lives.
* Looking to bolster his image, President Bush will team up with Mel Gibson to star in Passion of the Christ 2: The Second Coming. Broadcast exclusively on Fox News, Passion 2 stars the President as a loose cannon messiah, kicking ass and taking names. An action packed romp in the spirit of Lethal Weapon, Passion 2 was filmed entirely in the rare English dialect of Bushisms. Fundamentalism for the whole family!
* And more...
* Soymilk will give me bitch tits. My attemps to get emo-thin by going vegan will backfire when all the estrogen from my soy-rich diet causes me to grow some B-cup boobies. On the bright side, my long lonely nights will not seem quite so lonely with my two new friends.
* “Intelligent Design” will become the cornerstone of science curricula across the country. Students will also be required to learn Chinese and Korean, so that when those countries figure out how to use stem cells to cure every disease known to man we can be their bitches and beg for them to save our lives.
* Looking to bolster his image, President Bush will team up with Mel Gibson to star in Passion of the Christ 2: The Second Coming. Broadcast exclusively on Fox News, Passion 2 stars the President as a loose cannon messiah, kicking ass and taking names. An action packed romp in the spirit of Lethal Weapon, Passion 2 was filmed entirely in the rare English dialect of Bushisms. Fundamentalism for the whole family!
* And more...
0 comments:
Post a Comment