Let Me NEVER Forget

Drinking at 13
Meth and barbs by 15
LSD at 17
At 19 I flatlined from an overdose
And by 20 I was in full blown opiate addiction




Let me NEVER forget what it is to lose it all and may I always know how fortunate I am to be clean. Nineteen years ago this month I stopped the fucking insanity.

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Detox Monastery in Thailand.

"The Thamkrabok monastery in Saraburi, Thailand, runs a detox program where both Thais and foreigners alike experience a Buddhist approach to drug rehabilitation. For the first five days addicts take an herbal medicine that facilitates a rapid detoxification, causing immediate vomiting. Addicts are expected to stay at least a week at the monastery after they make their vow, but are welcome to reside at the monastery for weeks until they feel mentally and physically cleansed."

Link: (With Picture Gallery)

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Ibogaine Addiction Therapy

Ibogaine Addiction Therapy

I recently read glowing reviews in the Ibogaine newsletter about an Ibogaine treatment center in Puerto Vallarta called Awakening in the Dream House.

We are a "family" committed to providing a fulfilling and comfortable place for people to detox and recreate their lives. We offer a safe, clean, and calm setting to work in and will assist in meeting your needs. You will be treated as an equal, with respect and an understanding of the path to recovery you have chosen.

'Ibogaine - Rite of Passage' Trailer can be viewed below.



IBOGAINE
Studies undertaken by leading research and academic facilities have shown that ibogaine is invaluable in treating physical dependency and the associated withdrawal symptoms of Heroin, Methadone, and Prescription Opiates. It alleviates 90% of opiate withdrawal symptoms and can address cravings for two to six months. At the same time it changes habitual thought patterns and helps to restore the proper functioning of the brain's neurochemistry that, if left untreated, can make it so difficult to stay free of addiction.

I wonder how soon I'll be able to get Ibogaine in the rural Blue Ridge Mountains?

link | mindvox | lunart | rocky

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Republican Dirty Tricks Begin
which would actually indicate that they had stopped at one time

If you can't win, cheat. Apparently that's the Republicans' answer to our work in California. If they have their way, this reliably "blue" state won't be so blue in 2008.

Faced with a strong Democratic presence, Republicans are campaigning for a new election system instead of their own candidates.

If they get what they're after, it could cost us the White House.

(Re: Howard Dean email from Democrats.org via Bob Herbert, NYTimes.com>)

"The folks who gave us the Willie Horton ads, the Swift boat campaign, the purges of black voters in Florida and endless other dirty electoral tricks are at it again. Like crack addicts confronting the irresistible vial, the evil geniuses of the G.O.P. can't seem to help themselves. This time -- with an eye toward seizing the White House again next year, even if they lose the popular vote -- they're trying to rewrite the rules for the distribution of electoral votes in California…

"Under current law, all of California's 55 electoral votes go to the presidential candidate who wins the popular vote statewide. This ''winner take all'' system is the norm in the U.S. It's in place in all but two states, Maine and Nebraska, which have just four and five electoral votes, respectively. Now comes a move, from lawyers with close ties to the Republican Party, to scrap the current system in California and replace it with one that would divide up the electoral votes in a way that would likely give 20 or more of them to the candidate who loses the popular vote in the state…Under this new proposal, the 20 or more electoral votes that would be denied the winner of the statewide vote in California could well be enough to hand the White House to a Republican candidate who loses the popular vote nationally…

"…The effort to change the way Californians vote for president has been cloaked in the typically deceptive garb that the G.O.P. pulls out for its underhanded maneuvering. The proposal has been dubbed the ''Presidential Election Reform Act.'' It is being led by Thomas Hiltachk of Bell, McAndrews and Hiltachk, a law firm that has represented both the state Republican Party and G.O.P. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. According to The Associated Press, the firm was also linked to a political committee, largely funded by Bob Perry, that targeted Democratic candidates in 2006. Mr. Perry, a longtime supporter of George W. Bush, contributed millions of dollars to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, whose intense and deceptive campaign in 2004 was so damaging to the candidacy of John Kerry. This crowd is no more interested in genuine electoral reform than Britney Spears is."

Will it ever fucking end??

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Ugly Ducklings

Alcoholic Poet
Compelling prose on addiction, suicide, loneliness-- the usual girly stuff. Outstanding!

UGLY DUCKLINGS
--by Alcoholic Poet

Her dress about her shins. In muted screams. In fits of loud rain that threatened to break the clasp her thighs held on her vagina. That musty breadbox littered will the stale crumbs of digested skin. The tall braille of an erect penis telling loud stories to blind fingers. In the stumble of her breath over the peaks. And the shush of her heart in the valleys.

Her underwear. Well, she never wore it. The grin of her breasts safe enough she thought between the cross of her arms. The advance of the rook. Two sips away from happiness. The sharp of the bishop. One square shy of clarity. The omnipotence of the queen. The ugly duckling cooing from within the forest of the sheets. The panic in reality. The calm of indifference. Paper demons wearing angels drawn in ink.

Her wrists that much redder. Her dress still listening. Intently. To the shiver of her legs. As her clothes dared to leave her. A small stone in so many squares of play. While the night speculated.

On the importance of ugly ducklings.

Given the likelihood that they'll never change.

(via: theophany)

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WEBTRAIL

On Saturday, April 28th, tens of thousands of Americans will be making their voices heard by putting the word IMPEACH! in front of the public eye. (see www.A28.org).

Celebrating the 40th anniversary of the 14-hour Technicolour Dream, a marathon of 1960s films, 'full-on' lightshows, avant-garde theatre, Q&A sessions, and bands old and new. The line-up includes The Pretty Things, Circulus, Mick Farren, and The Amazing World of Arthur Brown. link

Fillmore East is now the Fillmore New York of Irving Plaza and opened last week with Lily Allen. Will that hippie feeling shine through at the new venue? It's doubtful. Livenation, monster concert conglom, has taken over the rebranding of all venues Fillmore. link

Sober Companion - Once they figure out the trigger, "It’s over." "It" is the drug craving. The businessman is a drug addict, and Mr. Kaplan is a sober companion, a combination big brother, baby sitter and spiritual guide who uses motivation, prayer and exercise to keep his clients away from alcohol and drugs. link

The Lizard Club by Steve Abbott, Released: 2007-04-16, "tells all" about the birth of San Francisco's underground club scene. But who's real and who's not? Abbott's novel suggests that in the '90s, we can no longer tell fact from fantasy. William Burroughs, Dennis Cooper, Robert Gluck, and Sarah Schulman praised the late Steve Abbott's first novel, Holy Terror. link

Germs drummer Don Bolles will be cleared of all charges after additional testing of his suspect bottle of liquid peppermint soap came up clean. link

Cheese kills. And I ain't talking grilled here. Cheese (or Cheeze) is a recreational drug that surfaced in the United States in 2005; predominantly in Texas. Cheese is formed by combining heroin and crushed tablets of certain over-the-counter common cold medication. Several young people have sadly overdosed and died in Texas from Cheese. wikipedia | link

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PARADISE LIFE

A Stunning Memoir about Recovery from Addiction

Author Christopher Keeley offers hope for drug addicts to get clean, to start over, and have a wonderful life

Addiction to drugs is like a lover that you crave for, the more you give in to it, the harder it is to let go. This unhealthy obsession can cause horrible consequences, not only to yourself, but also to your family and the people you care about. Author andaward winning photographer Christopher Keeley shares how he quit this nasty habit through Paradise Life, a profound collection of personal stories and photographs that inspire a spirit of recovery.

link

As a recovering addict myself I find his book very interesting. His other web presence is also entertaining-- displaying art, activism, photographs, etc. Go have a look around.

Related:
From the Book
Daily Dreamtime
Intervention Organization
Secret Surrealistic Society

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Jim Morrison's Secret Poem

Morrison climate warning strikes global note

A secret poem recorded by the legendary singer Jim Morrison shortly before he died is to be released as a song to raise awareness of climate change. Lyrics recorded by the former Doors frontman in Paris in 1971, have been put to music by rock stars for the Global Cool campaign and will be released as a single in April.

Morrison's recording of the poem - called Woman in the Window - has been released by Morrison's estate and put to music by stars including New Order and Perry Farrell, the former singer with LA band Jane's Addiction.

link

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Gaia Media News

GAIA MEDIA NEWSLETTER

As individuals, collectives, and a species we are heir to a living library far older than the Sun, and we were born to enjoy, celebrate and preserve our personal and unitive rights and expressions of access. A few thousand years ago, there was an accident — and the road to the library disappeared. That road is open again. link

~ DEDROIDIFICATION ~ It's high time you broaden your cute little close-minded reality tunnel if you think wonder only exists in fiction -- let me tell you a fantastic story, a history -- welcome to operation mindfuck link

Ibogaine - Rite of Passage is a documentary project about the use of Ibogaine for the treatment of addiction and its spiritual background.

CoverPop - This is truly a digital archivist's dream: data displayed in a way that is both aesthetically pleasing and informative." --Annalee Newitz / Wired.com.
Lots of fun! I like the musical instruments.
**NOTE: I had to turn OFF my pop-up blocker for this site**

The Strange, Harrowing Journeys of Free Energy Activists - The human journey hangs in the balance today. Humanity is very capable of destroying modern civilization and even most of life on earth. We are also quite capable of turning earth into a heavenly place where we all live in beauty, peace and plenty. The crux of the situation relies in great measure on real economics, and energy has always been the underlying basis for all economies for all time. Wade Frazier

"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world." - that underpin evolution.
--Richard Dawkins
The God Delusion part 1
The Virus of Faith part 2

Hubble Deep Field - Representing a narrow "keyhole" view stretching to the visible horizon of the universe, the Hubble Deep Field image covers a speck of the sky only about the width of a dime 75 feet away.

(all links via Gaia Media News, a monthly newsletter.)

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White Knuckle Express

This is the time of year that we recovering drug and alcohol addicts will white knuckle it, hoping to sail on through the holiday stress and parties without slipping. The time of year we must steer our car away from the liquor store. This time of year it's best to keep my blinders on when I see old playmates around town; step up the pace, and hit the breeze. Drinking and drugs were used so often to deal with my normal daytoday that it's so automatic to go there. After all this time and even in my dreams.

Sometimes I find that a warm geez or an iced anything with lime still wakes me with a smile and glow. And just when I start looking for old phone numbers and feel I might be the only junkie who feels this way, someone will confide their similar urges to me.

It always helps to know I'm not alone and together we'll get through another day, without singing any tired old platitudes; without any generic stepping going on. Strong in our weakness. Life, although not nearly as lively as before, really is good.

At the end of the day I can dust off the day's demons before turning in. Tick off the times I maintained direction, overcame weakness, kept it between the ditches. And with God/Goddess willing, I'll rise to battle another day.

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From The Inbox: Tons of good reading material for you to devour on company time

* The first trailer for Factory Girl is out. The movie will be released in December. Plot Summary: A beautiful, wealthy young party girl drops out of Radcliffe in 1965 and heads to New York to become Holly Golightly. Guy Pearce as Andy Warhol, Sienna Miller as Edie Sedgwick. Interesting casting: Mena Suvari as Richie Berlin.

* The International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers represents a global alliance of prayer, education and healing for our Mother Earth, all Her inhabitants, all the children, and for the next seven generations to come.

* Music Makes Your Brain Happy - As a rock producer, Daniel Levitin worked with Stevie Wonder, the Grateful Dead and Chris Isaak. But the music business began to change, and a disillusioned Levitin turned to academia, where a career in neuroscience beckoned.

* PsyComp Academic - Featuring a searchable database of UK and USA University courses that offer an orthodox opportunity to study fields related to the psychedelic compounds. Examples of the types of course are pharmacology, neuroscience, cognitive sciences, anthropology, chemistry and many more.

* Matrixmasters New Podcast Listings from the Palenque Norte lectures at Burning Man2006, featuring Erik Davis, Rick Doblin, Earth & Fire Erowid, Alex Grey, Jon Hanna, Daniel Pinchbeck, Ann & Sasha Shulgin, and many more.

* The Biography Project is an ongoing volunteer effort to catalog and document the contributions of authors, artists, scientists, film makers and other culturally influential individuals on underground culture in its various forms. This is direct response to the unfortunate lack of accurate and comprehensive information on the net regarding Popsubculture

* Pleasure chemical - For years, the brain chemical dopamine has been thought of as the brain's "pleasure chemical," sending signals between brain cells in a way that rewards a person or animal for one activity or another. More recently, research has shown that certain drugs like cocaine and heroin amplify this effect ? an action that may lie at the heart of drug addiction.

* Shematrix is a body of diverse and courageous women who serve as gatekeepers for the Rite of Initiation, which happens within a 3-day journey. For women, this is known as The Gift -- A Woman's Rite to HerSelf and for men, The Grail -- A Hero's Quest to the Self.

* The Lifeboat Foundation is a nonprofit, nongovernmental organization, dedicated to ensuring that humanity safely adopts increasingly powerful technologies, including genetics/biotechnology, nanotechnology, and robotics/AI, as we move towards a technological singularity.

* Ritual - In Lila, the Journal Of Cosmic Play -- Explorations into Shamanism and the Transpersonal Vision, the Bricoleur explains what he thinks are the most accurate descriptions of a "Ritual".

(most links via gaiamedianews monthly newsletters)

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"Lean," A New Hip High

It's more than a drug; it's a culture. It's what's known on the street as "Lean," a highly addictive cocktail of cough syrup, cold medicine, alcohol and candy -- so potent it makes you "lean" over when high.

The drug first began to get attention a few years ago, when a popular Houston DJ overdosed on it. [MORE...]

I've never heard of "Lean" before. Is it really new or new to the media? There's been cough syrup highs for probably 100 years. I remember a strong cough syrup that was gold and almost as expensive as the precious metal. Long, long ago...

via: addiction and recovery

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Ten Reasons We Already Miss Ann Richards

Ann Richards, the famously silver-tongued and silver-haired former governor of Texas, died Wednesday from complications of esophageal cancer. She was 73. Here's just some of what we'll remember and miss about her:

1. Richards used her wit not only to disarm her political opponents but to encourage other women to get into politics: "Let me tell you, sisters, seeing dried egg on a plate in the morning is a lot dirtier than anything I've had to deal with in politics," she said.

2. As a homemaker raising four kids, Richards became politically involved by volunteering on campaigns, including helping elect Sarah Weddington, the 25-year-old lawyer who had successfully argued Roe v. Wade before the Supreme Court, to the Texas House. Richards called Weddington the first "out-and-out feminist activist" she'd ever met, according to the Washington Post.

3. Two years after undergoing rehab for alcoholism in 1982, Richards was elected state treasurer, making her the first woman elected to a statewide post in Texas in 50 years. Of her return from addiction, she said: "I believe in recovery, and I believe that as a role model I have the responsibility to let young people know that you can make a mistake and come back from it."

4. When Richards gave the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in 1988 -- where she zinged the elder George Bush -- "Poor George. He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth" -- she also reminded the audience that she was only the second woman to give the keynote address at the convention in 160 years. The first was Barbara Jordan.

Continued in the Comments.

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SAY NO TO DRUGS - Or try to say no before you get this far gone.

"They told me, 'You're going to lose your arms if you continue to use drugs, we’re going to have to amputate them', but I just can’t stop." These shocking photos show the terrible toll that heroin addiction has taken on 27-year-old Rachael Keogh.

link

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STONED-The Story of Brian Jones

For many, Brian Jones was the style and soul of the Rolling Stones. Jones was not only a brilliant guitarist but also a fashionista in style-obsessed 1960s London. But in death he was simply dismissed as a rock’n'roll fuck-up.

Jones, oddly, is played by Leo Gregory, who has the body of a linebacker, not the lithe, feminine frame of the blonde, mop-topped rocker. The film opens with Jones holed up in the cute estate once the haunt of Winnie the Pooh author A.A. Milne. Puttering around an opiate haze of guitars and recording equipment, Jones lounges around in velvet pants with his oft-naked Swedish girlfriend Anna. [more...]

Frail and femme Brian Jones' character must be carefully cast. It appears that it wasn't. And the linebacker body is no good. I would have preferred they found someone with a mohawk and a slight frame than get the hair right and have a linebacker's body.

Someone should make the Anita Pallenberg story. She was a model and an actress and a heroin addict. She was also Brian's one time girlfriend, was once infatuated with Mick and was eventually Keith's wife and mother of their 3 children. I bet she has a few stories to tell.

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Web Trails

Aleister Crowley, British occultist born on October 12, 1875. He was an occultist, mystic, sexual revolutionary, and drug addict (especially heroin).

Other interests and accomplishments were wide-ranging (he was a chess master, mountain climber, poet, writer, painter, astrologer and social critic).

We place no reliance
On virgin or pigeon;
Our Method is Science,
Our Aim is Religion.
~Aleister Crowley

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
~Aleister Crowley

MORE

Psychedelic Sunday - Berbati’s Church of Psychedelia is a free event organized by Point Line Plane’s Josh Blanchard. It has been going strong every last Sunday of the month since its inception last January.
Link

Exciting material relating to rock greats Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones to lead Christie's annual sale of Pop and Rock Memorabilia at Christie's Rockefeller Center, 21 November 2005.
Link

Psychedelic Books for Independent Minds
Leary Library, Lilly Library, Fringe Series, Entheo-Spirituality, Psychedelic Library and more. Part of The Psychedelic Ring which has 29 sites, which may or not be surf-worthy.
Link

Faster Firefox - Speed up your Firefox browser by tweaking settings. Installs into Firefox Options if you can’t find it. Anybody tried this yet? Mitch? It's different from the tweaking we did last year on Firefox; it's a download. Thanks, Devon.

Is anyone watching Lost? I'm trying to watch it, especially after I heard someone talking backwards, reminiscent of Twin Peaks, which brilliantly stands alone in tv series innovation. 4 8 15 16 23 42 is keeping the secret.

British Library Online Gallery - Turning The Pages.
Leaf through 14 great books and magnify the details. Very nice. Thanks, Carol.
Link

I noticed Salon has a new design and read this piece: Thousands of men are shelling out $6,500 for hyper-realistic dolls that answer all their needs -- and don't talk back. Ask Davecat about Sidore. How fucked up ARE these guys anyway? Let me count the ways.
Link

Go get 'em, BDM. Big Daddy Malcontent takes the banks and christians to task.
Link

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Strung-Out Justice?
For the nine years between 1972 and the end of 1981, William Rehnquist consumed great quantities of the potent sedative-hypnotic Placidyl. So great was Rehnquist's Placidyl habit, dependency, or addiction—depending on how you regard long-term drug use—that by the last quarter of 1981 he began slurring his speech in public, became tongue-tied while pronouncing long words, and sometimes had trouble finishing his thoughts.

Rehnquist on stumbling biscuits? Joo-joo beans? I'm stunned. I remember Placidyls were rampant in the late 1970's. Think Quaaludes X's 2. Such a potent drug that many dedicated drug addicts either avoided it or experimented only casually with it. How in the hell do you run the Supreme Court while you're babbling and stumbling all over the place, when I couldn't find my ass with both hands? More...

Spin doctors finally arrive in New Orleans.

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Ramble On...
Permit me to ramble a bit this morning. Friday Blogging is conducive to small talk and rambling, cat blogging, etc.

I'm so tired seeing of the dreaded Blue Screen of Death. In fact, it was all I could see for a couple of hours this morning. Windows was stuck going through the same thing over and over and wouldn't advance. This old dinosaur has seen me through many good days so if it'll just hold on until I can save enough scratch for a new one, I'll be happy. Or a good used one will also do.

Such a glorious day in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. We're expecting a high of 75° which is a little low for mid-June, but I'll take it.

Detroit Basketball! Now it's getting very interesting.

Rehab Is For Quitters
Yesterday was my recovery anniversary. Fourteen Years. After many, many, and yes, many more years of substance abuse, I finally got help for my addiction and if you don't count weed and a few other botanicals, I have been drug-free since June 16, 1991. Go me!

Off to get another cup of coffee, read the news and visit YOU....

I feel a sin coming on.

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About Terry Gilliams's Tideland, Jennifer Tilly says, "Jeff Bridges is a burned-out rock musician addicted to heroin, and I'm an ex-groupie addicted to methadone - and we have this little neglected and abused girl who is living in a fantasy land."

"This movie is very surreal. Terry describes it as a cross between Alice In Wonderland and Psycho. Tideland is done, says Gilliam. Just tell me when to show up at the theater.

The Mars Volta to curate next ATP (All Tomorrows Parties). Bands so far confirmed to play alongside The Mars Volta include The Kills, Diamanda Galas, Cinematic Orchestra, Blonde Redhead, Jaga Jazzist, Weird War, and more. What makes ATP events so fun is that they have chalets available for weekend rental with the shows.

The Ayahuasca-Alien Connection. Excerpts from:
Ayahuasca Visions: The Religious Iconography of a Peruvian Shaman

Advance Tom Robbins book, Wild Ducks Flying Backqards already sold on eBay. (Thanks, Madison)

More banned cover art from Freeway Jam. Comprehensive listings in Taboo Tunes. For being against the war, (Dead Kennedys, Barry McGuire) having a misplaced appendage, visual pubes (Black Crowes cover), teeny boobs flashing (Blind Faith), and more.

Weirdness Quotient: Country Porn - NSFW and Ice Cream Truck songs from WFMU.

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Are anti-drug technologies and mind-control vaccines the future of the drug war?

You may not have heard about it yet -- but you will.

The first mainstream media report was in a British newspaper report dated July 25, 2004. The headline read, Children to Get Jabs Against Drug Addiction. In it, we learn that a "radical scheme to vaccinate children against future drug addiction" is being considered by the British Government.

Under the plan, doctors would "immunize children at risk of becoming smokers or drug users with an injection."

The article claimed the scheme would function "similarly to the current nationwide Measles, Mumps and Rubella vaccination program. Childhood immunization would protect adults from the euphoria experienced by users, making drugs such as heroin and cocaine pointless to take."

Is this the future of the drug war? A nightmare dystopia where children are inoculated against feeling forbidden euphoria? [more »]

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